Incorporating information gleaned from in-depth interviews of 22 deaf-hearing sibling pairs, a critical analysis of the history of the education of the deaf and social/cultural attitudes toward sign language, and their own experiences in deaf-hearing sibling relationships, Marla Berkowitz and Judith Jonas's Deaf and Hearing Siblings in Conversation offers useful — and often poignant — insights into both Deaf and hearing worlds.

Berkowitz and Jonas use a unique combination of direct quotations from interviews (translated, where relevant, from ASL into English), fictionalized stories that draw on common themes across interviews, and their own experiences to illustrate a number of important themes: the challenging ways in which the oppression of deaf people (audism) occurs within the family setting, opportunities for intimacy and connection among deaf-hearing siblings, and the liberatory possibilities of American Sign Language.

As one example of audism, instances of isolation pervade the book, from the all-too-common stories of being left out of the conversation at the family dinner table or told "never mind," to not having access to a sibling's eulogy at the funeral of a beloved relative. Again and again — by their own accounts, by their hearing siblings' accounts, and based on other relevant research reviewed in the book — deaf siblings are "bystanders instead of participants" in their own families (p. 102). This theme is consistent with explorations of the experiences of Deaf people in mainstreamed school settings, including Oliva and Lytle's (2014) Turning the tide: Making life better for deaf and hard of hearing schoolchildren.

Berkowitz and Jonas's text also exposes heightened possibilities for connection and bonding offered by the deaf-hearing sibling relationship. Deftly navigating the power dynamics that inhere in deaf-hearing relationships, some hearing siblings were effective allies to their deaf siblings: they stood up for or protected them, watched out for them, filled in gaps, made sure they were included, and interpreted between English and ASL. Some deeply value having a Deaf sibling: "I feel very blessed to be in the DEAF-WORLD and I also realize that if I didn't have my sister who was deaf, I wouldn't be as involved to the extent that I'm involved. My sister really changed my life … she helps me look at the world in a different way" (p. 149).

Other hearing siblings were (intended or unintended) perpetrators of audism: they intentionally excluded their deaf siblings, ignored requests for communication access, refused to learn ASL, and resented even the presence of their deaf sibling at family events. Importantly, Berkowitz and Jonas do not shy away from exposing the pain engendered by the enactment and internalization of audism. They describe the deep ambivalence expressed by hearing siblings, not necessarily (or only) toward their deaf siblings, but about the role they played in their deaf sibling's life: as witnesses to pervasive discrimination, what was their ongoing responsibility? If they took on the role of interpreter, would they let the rest of their family members "off the hook" for learning ASL or figuring out other means of communication? How do they balance the affection they feel for their sibling with the stress of monitoring their sibling's well-being in hearing settings, all the while trying to develop their own independent voices? Some deaf siblings were also ambivalent, simultaneously appreciating their hearing siblings' efforts to include them and recognizing that it hardly ever worked. As one noted, "I felt I am not important, brushed aside, off in a corner. Once in a while my sister would look at me and point out which relative was talking and try to summarize the conversation, but they'd forget to include me" (p. 78).

Ultimately, Berkowitz and Jonas suggest that accessible forms of communication, and communication about communication (which they found was sorely lacking in the deaf-sibling pairs they interviewed, almost none of whom ever actually talked about their relationships or how compromised their communication typically was when they were growing up), are critical for healthy sibling relationships (as they are, no doubt, for any healthy relationship). The Deaf interviewees in their study, as did some of their hearing siblings, overwhelmingly preferred sign language over orally-based methods of communication. Although many did not learn ASL until they were older, a few had parents and siblings who learned to sign when the deaf person in the family was a child. Regardless, all had learned ASL as adults and it was their preferred language by the time they participated in this study. Learning ASL and developing relationships with other Deaf people was an important antidote to the isolation imposed in their growing up years, fostering a sense of belonging and of self-acceptance (p. 90). One of the important points of this book, however, is that many hearing siblings — even those who observed how good it was for their deaf sibling to learn ASL — remained reluctant about learning ASL themselves even well after their deaf sibling had fully embraced ASL as their preferred language. Their attitudes ranged from ambivalent (e.g., "I haven't learned ASL though I've met people who seem to pick it up so easily, I'm green with envy! I … have worked hard to include my sister by trying to tell her what people have said and have nagged my siblings to include her, and as much as I'd love to know ASL, I can't seem to find the time to do it" [p. 79]) to outright hostile, grounded in intense resentment and indicative of the deep pain that can exist on both sides of the deaf-hearing sibling relationship:

I find [ASL] extremely interesting [and] I would love to learn it … [but] I will not learn it for him. … Why should I? … he doesn't deserve to have us take time out of our lives to learn a language that is his. He's never tried to do anything that's ours. You know, he was kind of forced to and resented it and then resented us. We can talk with one another, just like we did when we were kids. So why do I need to learn it? (p. 73).

In contrast to these examples, Berkowitz and Jonas note the much deeper sense of closeness and connection among "signing siblings," the title of the chapter detailing the nature of the relationships between siblings who grew up knowing sign language.

Despite the important themes this book illustrates, the text is not without challenges. It was not well edited, and struck me as poorly organized overall and often difficult to follow. These are criticisms that are likely more appropriately leveled at the publisher/editor than at the authors themselves, but they nonetheless significantly detract from the book's potential.

Deaf families and deaf-hearing family dynamics have been the subject of a number of different literatures, including memoirs by d/Deaf people (e.g., Galloway, 2008; Kisor, 2010; Vasishta, 2011) memoirs by CODAs (Children of Deaf Adults, see, e.g, Davis, 1999; Preston, 1998; Walker, 1987), scholarly work on hearing parents of deaf children (e.g., Meadow-Orlans, Mertens, & Sass-Lehrer, 2003), and studies of deaf young people (e.g., Sheridan, 2008). Berkowitz and Jonas's is unique among them for offering the perspectives of both deaf and hearing people from the same family in the same text. The reader is privy to both the tension and the tenderness that exist in this important and understudied example of one of the most common and important human relationships, that of siblings.