An audio recording of "Testament" is available at http://hdl.handle.net/1811/79959

Testament

I am a cutter.
A killer.
A pill taker.
I am a high risk profile.
An easy target.
I am a wonder.
A still life version of survival.
I am a hoarder of insults.
An instrument of goodwill.
A fully manufactured human in broad daylight.
I am a miracle.
A walk thru rain water honest to god success story.
I am a lock up.
A throw away the keys 72 hour hold castaway.
I am a dry erase board name.
A walk in ER case.
A DSM-V masterpiece.
I am an invisibility act complete with instructions.
A nightmare cast of characters.
A complex mess of neurotransmitters.
A backfired experiment.
I am a swollen eyed cry me a cure seeker.
I am a pusher.
A taker.
A shut up and listen session participator.
I am a wreck of scar muscle and infamy.
I am impulse and action.
I am hereditary predisposition and guilt.
I am a scale of 1 to 10.
I am diagnostic code 296.6.
A list of side effects and contraindications.
I am an IV.
A pumped stomach.
A hand overflowing.
I am stitch marks on inner right wrist.
I am a 911 call.
A pager number.
An unwritten note.
I am a neat appearance.
A perfect hello.
A well cut profile.
I am a shrink's hour.
A doctor's sidenote.
A wait-and-see game.
I am a wristband.
A siren.
A binder of paperwork.
I am an elegant signature.
A compliance to avoid sharp objects.
A real hard study.
I am a consent for treatment.
A repeat appearance.
A preventative measure.
I am a performer.
A crowdpleaser.
A light in the aftermath.
I am an attempt.
A statistic.
A permanent record of failure.
I am transcranial magnetic stimulation.
I am electroconvulsive therapy.
I am ketamine infusions.
I am a second chance, a third, a fourth.
A downward spiral.
An ultra-radian cycler.
I am hypomania in action.
I am    Zoloft
           Prozac
           Wellbutrin
           Effexor
           Risperdal
           Parnate
           Nortriptyline
           Mirtazapine
           Viibryd
           Lexapro
           Pristiq.
I am    Tegretol
           Verapamil
           Lithium
           Neurontin
           Depakote
           Lamictal
           Nimodipine
           Trileptal.
I am    Zyprexa
           Klonopin
           Trilafon
           Dexedrine
           Seraquel
           Geodon
           Saphris
           Abilify
           Ativan.
I am 120 mg 3x/day.
I am use as directed.
I am take with food and
Do not operate heavy machinery.
I am a $1000 a day hospital bill.
I am a risk.
I am a hard sell.
Treatment resistant.
Impatient patient.
I am a high functioner.
A CYP2D6 Genotype ultra rapid metabolizer.
A mixed state.
A clean sell.
An insurance company's worst nightmare.
I am a once a week check-up.
A lockbox of potentials.
A prescription number.
A real shame.
A wasted talent.
I am an educator of corrosive content.
I am a dayroom unbreakable windowpane.
I am a quiet room.
I am under observation.
I am a voluntary/involuntary admittance.
I am the longest day.
I am a 15 minute SP check.
A low blood pressure read.
I am "the tulips are too excitable, it is winter here."
I am a lineage of insanity.
I am car exhaust.
Razor blades.
Temporary precautions.
I am a missing line.
A fake smile.
An I'm fine.
A subtle remainder.
I am a safety plan.
An educational DVD.
A confidentiality clause.
A garage door closing.
I am a drug tested on Himalayan rabbits.
I am    May
           Cause
           Nausea
           and
           Vomiting
           Constipation
           Dry
           Mouth.
I am    Shaking
           Hands
           Low
           Sex
           Drive
           Akathasia.
I am    Tachychardia
           Acne
           Weight
           Gain
           Somnolence.
I am    Increased
           Urination
           Cognitive
           Distortion
           Metallic
           Taste
           in
           Mouth.
I am a tainted gene pool.
I am the buck stops here.

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Copyright (c) 2017 Stephanie Heit

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